I Am Tired Of Putting Out Fires

I Am Tired Of Putting Out Fires

I want to light them! Add more
branches, ensure the fire burns
all day and through the night,
bright blaze on the altar I wish
we still had. Yes, you heard me
right, I said it aloud, I wish we
still had this perpetual invitation
to find the divine, to give my all
and burn it red-hot with fire. 

I know you won’t understand
my honest desire to kill cows
for a God who will accept
words, and you know I am
a woman of words. But words
can’t catch fire like fire can. 

But the smell! You shout back
about burning flesh and char
to which I say, I too love BBQ,
God, I get you. Let’s roast till
all that’s left is ashes then
let’s race to clean them away
and light up again, insatiable
God who must be fed and fed.

But Avi, you know there are
no women in this Temple
fantasy you’ve conjured to
fulfill your ever growing quest
for more God— innocent seed
now full-blown flesh-eating plant,
and I must concede this leaves
me undeterred. Determined
still to light this match, watch
while something holy burns.